How cold can it be?

Well I'll tell you what, I knew there was going to be trouble when my truck would not even get to operating temp on the way to Dubuque for Lance Andre's TRIPLE D race. My feet were getting cold while driving the 2.5 hours. It was -11 below zero when I got to town, however, the cycling Gods warmed us up at the start as the temperature climbed to a sweet -6 below zero. WTF???? I got a bad feeling again as we rolled out of town cause I was trapped in a herd of Puggsleys, (never seen SO many in one place) no problem keeping with these monstrosities on the well packed snow, but as soon as we hit the rutted DEEP potholed nasty foot trail (approx. 1 whole mile)they were G-O-N-E. I was in granny high spinning for every inch of forward motion, I passed Dennis who was busy fixing a flat, he yelled he was OK so away I rode. Now after working up a nice SWEAT on this section it was UP THE EASY PAVED (and relatively) snow free climb out of town, directly into a 15 mph headwind. Do the math, that gives you a wind chill factor of -32 degrees, my goggles froze over quickly, and I climbed with one hand over my nose the entire way up just to deflect the wind, but I was still pretty warm and good to go, It was near the top I had my last drink. The skinny tires I had made this part pretty easy and I caught some Puggs on the way up, but this was short lived, I think Dennis came around me on the climb too but I couldn't see anything for sure through my frosted lenses. The snowmobile path was "rideable" for my gear but it was still taking everything I had to stay upright in the snowpack, quite a few times I washed out and had to push this off camber and uphill section, and Lance, Bruce, and a few others went around me here, I was able to keep them in sight so I spun on into the wind. There were already riders turning around and heading back at this point, some said a few didn't even make it past the first gnarley section. I made it to a little ravine at the private snowmobile trail and decided to get some sugar into my gut, (the wind here was HOWLING) my computer said almost ten whole miles. My camel back was UNDER my top layer and filled with goodies, including much needed water, but I had to stop and take my gloves and coat off to get to em, I was now carrying 100 oz. of frozen water, and an assortment of chocolate bricks that I could not bite through without chipping my teeth, (uh-oh) Dennis had told me earlier that HAMMER gels are immune to the cold, he was right, even at -6 they were still "liquid" and I washed one down with snow. Total time spent at this location I'm guessing three minutes, in that time my coat, mittens, helmet straps, neck gaiter and fingers had frozen solid. I headed up the trail into the wind, chilled and chattering, picture riding across a snow covered hay field( no trees or wind breaks) uphill into the wind at six below, I did, and turned around and went the other way, I had had enough. I had my camera with me and was going to snap a pic of a bank thermometer showing the temp. but it died in the cold, so did my GPS, I would not remove my mittens again PERIOD! coming back I was picking up some riders who had already turned around and we soon had a small group, we stopped in at Freeflight bikes to warm up. As luck would have it my cell rings and its Dominic asking how my race was going, the timing was perfect, cause my "race" was OVER. A couple more riders came in to the bike shop so our little group headed back to the finish as fast as we could go, we picked up a few more on the way in, thank God there was a couple locals cause I had NO idea how to get back through the industrial section. Total miles a little over 20, almost four hours at an average of 5 mph. Mr. GRELK finished this thing, I can't tell you how impossible the conditions were, he was out there for almost TEN FRIGGIN HOURS, and has some frost bite to to prove it. Jill in Alaska does this everyday, she is also quite mad and completely insane...I hope Lance Andre holds another race next year.