Thursday, June 08, 2006

Snakes vs. Product test

Since I'm about as near sighted as a person can get, every couple of years I gotta get my eyes checked and get my prescription updated. Thank God I haven't had to get bi-focals (yet) cause I don't need any reminders of my impending mortality, also, I think I'd rather have a vasectomy with a dull butter knife than have "Dr. Stygmatism" blast my eyeballs with laser beams, so glasses it is. I had to be careful when picking out new shades for riding cause "wrap around" frames and prescriptions DO NOT mix well as they tend to bend light and the trail becomes "warped" like a great acid trip. (guessing!) So I picked out these Rudy Project Kalyos frames that could handle an "insert" for my prescription, they are "OK" at best, the insert needed to bent into shape still, and peripheral vision is "untrustworthy", also the insert is so close to my eyes I get to rub my lashes on them. But they work and I can see well enough to navigate in the woods, although I'm going to get yellow lenses soon because the blue is WAY too dark in the trees. I found this out because the 3 foot long snake I found snoozing on the trail last night at Geode looked innocent enough, plus I always thought snakes are kinda cool, I just wanted to have a look at him and send him on his way. Living here for my whole life I've heard over and over again about rattlesnakes at Geode, BULLSHIT I'd say, I've been to 4 different deserts across the western states, the Rockies countless times and never seen ANY rattle snakes, always hoping to just SEE one, but no luck. So "Steve Irwin" style I picked him up and said " your alright Mate! Isn't he a BEAUTY", but He didn't want to play and was desperately trying to BITE yours truly. While I was putting him back on the ground he made a noise that sounded exactly like a Chris King hub coasting at 10 mph, Only then with my limited vision did I notice the neat pattern of diamonds, the triangular shaped head complete with sensing "pits" and the little button on the end of his tail. SHIT A RATTLER!!! I've been to Geode a thousand times and always heard about Timber Rattlers and never believed it, always looked for em, NEVER saw one, until then. About the time he decided to slither off Mrs. Brakeville was pulling up, and was NOT happy that I had given chase, He actuality stopped for a second, in between the front spokes on my wheel then took off. Did I mention that my new shades are too dark in the woods???

8 comments:

Mike Howard said...

Are you sure you were guessing about the great acid trip ? That's the worse thing about picking out riding glasses ! they look and feel nice,but the ground looks far away or to close !

Don't pet the big kitties either Matt !

Anonymous said...

yikes! that's pretty freaky. i've never seen a snake out there before, or even dehn's. maybe i just don't pay good enough attention, which is fine because i HATE snakes!!

Midz said...

That's some crazy stuff. I'm cool with snakes, but a rattler?! Not sure I'd be so brave. Howie can't remember most of the 70's and early 80's so don't let him give you any shit!

mattonne said...

No bravery involved, maybe bravado, but it "looked" harmless at first. I can't imagine the upstanding Mr. Howard being anything but a gentelman in his youth!

Pete Basso said...

Remind me not to ride there in the summer please!! I friggin' hate those things. Glad your Snake handling skills are better than your bike handling skills...totally kidding, of course!

mattonne said...

All things being equal, I'd rather wreck than be invenomated!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Fellow! I was just searching blogs,and I found yours! I like it!
If you have a moment, please visit my ace travel insurance site.
Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Hello Friend! I just came across your blog and wanted to
drop you a note telling you how impressed I was with
the information you have posted here.
Keep up the great work, you are providing a great resource on the Internet here!
If you have a moment, please make a visit to my adare accommodation site.
Good luck in your endeavors!