Be kind to animals...

Even though they KILLED Steve Irwin, "Crickey! Took that one right in the chest...oh fu...Dateline 9/6/06 A confused and terrified red squirrel jumped out in front of me at Dehn's and made THREE course corrections before i actually, and ACCIDENTALLY I might add, ran directly over the little bugger. I believe the only thing that spared this critter was the 4 inches of buttery smooth travel in my REBA fork. Maybe he was just messin with me, I had visions of him gettin stuck in my front wheel and sending me ass over tea kettle. To quote Arnold, "He'll Live". Dateline 9/10/06 During the 30 mile XC race at Comlara Il. this weekend I once again ran over a snake, believe it or not I was traveling at a high rate of speed and had NO time for an evasive action, I did not see him/it on the next laps so he escaped with minor ijuries, "good on ya mate"! Had I not been on the clock I would have stopped to examine this "Beauty". This is even after the three close calls with; Two young racoons Two Coyotes one MEAN lookin Possum, all at Dehn's in the space of one week, they must like the way the trail flows too!!! The possum spooked me the most cause he stood up and hissed at me, the cranky little bloke. I am striving to make XC riding as animal friendly as possible but they ain't helping...

Back to Riding...

I have not posted anything about actually riding my bike for awhile so I thought a quikie update is in order. Geode has some nasty type of poison oak/ivy/sumac on the backside. I did four laps the other day and inside my elbow is itchin like CRAZY, Dehn's is about the fastest drying trail I know, you can ride it (uptop) anyway about 5 minutes after the rain stops with nary a puddle, watch the bridges though, they get SLICKery when wet. There are a few XC races coming up, but the ONE race I WILL make is PAMBA's Festival. I know, I know, whenever I say something like that I miss it and I'm a liar. I'll be there! I must be bored-dedicated-wierd to put in 25 miles in Dehn's, but those are "normal" distances for the races so I gotta train to em right??? I've ridden it forwards, backwards and sideways to break it up some. And STILL no word from the parks guy about the trails. Can you say backburner? You can tell that its the end of the season on the roadie rides, everyone attacks and attacks again, those training rides are about my limit (are about my ASS, they ARE at my limit)But it is pretty cool to see who and how is pushing the group into the red and can you respond in kind???, I've seen 197 BPM's chasing these kids and ELDERS around, but its a great workout that has helped me on the trails as well. Looking forward to putting a number on my bike again soon, maybe even try a CX race, although I run like old people F_ _ _! Stay warm!!!

What the hell does this have to do with riding...

Not a thing, but DAMN Carlin is GOOD!!! "I'm a Modern Man" George Carlin, November 5th, 2005 Beacon Theater, NYC I'm a modern man. I'm a modern man. I'm a modern man. I'm a modern man. I'm a modern man, A man for the millennium, Digital and smoke free. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist, Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I've been uplinked and downloaded. I've been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing. I know the downside of upgrading. I'm a high tech lowlife. A cutting edge state-of-the-art bicoastal multitasker, And I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I'm new wave but I'm old school, And my inner child is outward bound. I'm a hot wired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer, Voice activated and biodegradable. I interface from a database, And my database is in cyberspace, So I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, And from time-to-time, I'm radioactive. Behind the eight ball, Ahead of the curve, Riding the wave, Dodging a bullet, Pushing the envelope. I'm on point, On task, On message, And off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed, I got no urge to binge and purge. I'm in the moment, On the edge, Over the top, But under the radar. A high concept, Low profile, Medium range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps. I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach. A raging workaholic. A working ragaholic. Out of rehab, And in denial. I got a personal trainer, A personal shopper, A personal assistant, And a personal agenda. You can't shut me up, You can't dumb me down. 'Cause I'm tireless, And I'm wireless. I'm an alpha male on beta blockers. I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever. Laid back but fashion forward. Up front, Down home, Low rent, High maintenance. Super size, Long lasting, High definition, Fast acting, Oven ready, And built to last. I'm a hands on, Foot loose, Knee jerk, Head case. Prematurely post traumatic, And I have a love child who sends me hate mail. But I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing, I'm sharing. A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver. My output is down, But my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond, And my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports. I'm gender specific, Capital intensive, User friendly, And lactose intolerant. I like rough sex. I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the f word in my email, And the software on my hard drive is hard core, no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a mini mall. I bought a mini van in a mega store. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I'm toll free, Bite sized, Ready to wear, And I come in all sizes. A fully equipped, Factory authorized, Hospital tested, Clinically proven, Scientifically formulated medical miracle. I've been pre-washed, Pre-cooked, Pre-heated, Pre-screened, Pre-approved, Pre-packaged, Post-dated, Freeze-dried, Double-wrapped, Vacuum-packed, And I have an unlimited broadband capacity. I'm a rude dude, But I'm the real deal. Lean and mean. Cocked, locked and ready to rock. Rough tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow. I go with the flow. I ride with the tide. I got glide in my stride. Drivin' and movin', Sailin' and spinnin', Jivin' and groovin', Wailin' and winnin'. I don't snooze, So I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal, And the rubber on the road. I party hearty, And lunch time is crunch time. I'm hanging in, There ain't no doubt. And I'm hanging tough, Over and out. TAGS George Carlin, Life Is Worth Losing, Beacon Theater

Optimistic Opportunity

I talked with Chris Nosbisch from the Burlington Parks Dept. He was hoping to meet with everyone who rides Dehn's. Apparently he rides a bit himself and needed some help with this project. I can tell you this tidbit of info, regardless if the Dog Park gets built or not, the trail system WILL be a reality, owned by and cared for by Burlington. Chris was very clear on his ideas for this trail, and they were to keep it as NATURAL as it is!! I.E. SINGLETRACK, DIRT, NO MOTOR VEHICLES. Even the Parks Superintendant agrees. He wants to meet ASAP with anybody who's willing, volunteers needed and appreciated. I think this is a chance to make our Mountain Biking trail a real and legitimate asset for all of us. Spread the word kids, lets set a time when everyone can meet these folks!!

Dog Park = Trails?

Burlington is planning to build a dog park right next to our beloved Dehn's trails. Yeah, I said "Dog Park", I wonder if the Naked Guy knows this? Anywho, they also are going to legitimize Dehn's trails in the process, could be a good thing in the long run. I see the local newspaper (The Hogeye) refers to Mountain Bikers as "BMX'ers", which is quite confussing to the local folk. The only thing that scares me is they talk about "improving" the trail system. I think that means being able to drive a D-9 Caterpillar around the loop without scuffing the paint, I am going to try and talk to the powers that be and maybe find some common ground and maybe even (GASP) volunteer to do the trail work I'm already doing voluntarily. I know there are alot of riders now cleaning-mowing-maintaining the trails as well. If I can get a meeting with this guy I'll post it here. Anybody interested???? Could be a future race venue if with a little co-op from the YMCA Hmmmmmmm...

Sugarbottom Scandal???

Check out Squirrels blog, the Sugarbottm Scandal is secheduled for Aug. 13th. at 10:30am. Pirate XC race, winner gets nuthin but congrats and braggin rights should be a great time. On a more somber note, I take everything back I said about GREG LAMOND, Greg your my new drug free hero, but I still won't buy a bike with your name on it HA HA. For ALL the info about Sugar bottom you need to hit up right HERE Could be a better race than the "real" one, although most of it will happen WAY ahead of me. ADIO AMICO!!!

Greg LeMond...

Worthless whinning PRICK, or just a sore WINNER? Chime in as Greg has given the whole world his view as a "clean" cyclist, and condemned EVERY other American out there! With a Fenchie name like "LeMond" its not surprising he's already convicted Floyd Landis. I wish he would just shut the hell up. We know you won the TDF THREE times Greg, we know you were the FIRST American to win a TDF Greg. Now go support the sport instead of tearing it down every chance you get...Swinging TOOL!!! Thats my RANT for the day... :)

Just when you thought it was safe...

Its the stuff of legend, whispered about in hushed tones and passed on in tales and stories by those that have heard or witnessed the frightening truth. Dehn's woods has a spirit, a "free spirit" if you will. I had heard about this phantom that roamed the woods at dusk in the summertime, that magic hour between light and dark, where shadows can play tricks and the eyes. Unexplained sightings of a guy, a NAKED guy, who has been seen only by a few of the "lucky" riders who happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Right in the middle of my training ride last night, third lap, I was getting tired and focusing only on the trail flowing under my front tire, right before my very eyes the trail I was concentrating on turned into a rather large, middle aged, ASS. Attached to this ASS was the rest of the "NAKED GUY". I stiffled a laugh as I quickly dodged him and said aloud "now theres something you don't see everyday!" The "NAKED GUY" was silent, he seemed more concerned with the dog he was walking (leashed, but naked as well). 100 yards up the trail, morbid curiousity took over, and just like a car accident, I couldn't help but shoot a quick glance behind me, maybe just to assure myself I actually DID see the "NAKED GUY", But he was GONE. Disappearing quickly into the fading light with his trusty sidekick (no, it was NOT a weenie dog). There are unexplained sightings of crop circles, bigfoot, even the loch ness monster, beware Dehn's woods. For a "NAKED GUY" haunts these lonely trails, elusive, and unashamed...

Loose ten pounds in a day!

Easy way to drop some weight, ride your bike when its 100 dergrees outside. Of course you may croak but the weight just drips right off. Bummer about Sugar bottom XC event, maybe there will be a replacement??? Should be racing in Peoria this weekend, haven't been over for awhile and I'm looking forward to seeing the PAMBA folks again! HOT DAMN, just watched FLOYD LANDIS come back and KICK ASS in the "tour"!! Try THAT sometime, solo away from an elite field of racers for 100 miles, in the ALPS, no help from ANYBODY, gain back all but 30 seconds for the yellow jersey. I can't even begin to feel the pain of that ride. I know the tour is a roadie thing but it is inspiring this year!!! GO FLOYD

I still ride...sometimes

And I have the scars to prove it! Dehn's is REALLY fast right now, and I'm guessing just like the rest of the trails in the midwest DUSTY and loose in the corners. Kinda like a sandy sidewalk. Remember how I said I would not replace my old LX shifters until they were damaged? Well, one of Dennis' super logs made short work of them, along with a derailure hanger, a couple of spokes, and a cable. I'm not sure how many more times my knee will heal before it just turns to mush but it's OK for now. I'm prolly gonna hit up the "Iowa Games" MTB race this Sat., although its supposed to be near 100 degrees again this year. Note to bike shops, when servicing requires messing with a disc brake, WIPE THE OIL OFF IT!!! Its so much easier to stop when the rotor is DRY. I'm whinning I know. I'm kinda gettin burn out this time of year so I better refocus a bit, less miles more intensity may help, also gettin quite lazy with bloggin updates, too many other irons in the fire. Stay safe and watch out for cars all you roadies out there...

It used to be broken Bike parts...

There she is, The Jersey Devil. Its not Broken, its BRITISH!!

Great Beyond

I'm not dead yet. I had a BADBike weekend. I will be a certified auto mechanic soon. I will post again. I need a vacation. Viva le TOUR!

Cross Country

The story your about to read is true, the following takes place between 2:00am Wednesday, and 2:00pm Thursday. Needing a more reliable vehicle I decided to see what was out there for sale at a decent price. I found it on e-bay (laughter), it was a 1995 Land Rover Discovery, described as mechanically sound with a few fixer upper problems. A Land Rover? In my price range? too good to be true. I bought it. Where was this fabulous "deal of the century" located? Why Newark New Jersey of course, a scant 950 miles from home, a long days drive, just a bit further than Estes Park Colorado I reasoned. I gave travelocity $146.32 for a ONE WAY ticket to the biggest City in North America. After bribing Scot and Megan with pork chops and poker they offered to give me a ride to the airport in Moline, we hit the road at 3:00am for my flight out. I divided the task into five stages. Stage 1; Make it to Newark New Jersey via Atlanta by 12:00 noon Wednesday. Stage 2; Use New Yorks mass transit system, subway-bus-train, to reach the sellers dealership. Stage 3; Make the deal, or turn around and leave. Stage 4; Drive an unknown, untested vehicle from the East coast back to Iowa before work on Friday. Stage 5; Live to tell the tale. Stage 1, the easiest because they won't let me fly the plane, I asked nicely. Stage 2, you've seen how gritty and dirty and bleak a N.Y. subway looks in countless movies. Gangs "taggin" every inch of their turf with messages only they can read, trash everywhere? Well that's not quite accurate, its MUCH WORSE!!! What you don't get from film is the stench, and the feel of the seats on a hot summer day, and being absolutely overwhelmed by the fact that I have NO idea where the hell I am, and less sure about where I'm going, But a kindly bus driver with a THICK Jersey accent got me to the train on time. Bus driver "where you from again"? Me "Iowa". Bus driver "yeah, Iowa. Ain't that where they grow potatoes?" Me "no Sir, that's Idaho". Bus driver talking loud enough the whole bus could hear now " WHATEVER, So you out in the big city all alone?" Me, "uh Yeah". Stage 3, The seller was two hours late for the meeting, I drove the thing for approx. 5 minutes, handed him a check. Stage 4, left around 9:00pm headed west on I-80, cheapest fuel is $3.10 in Pennsylvania. A V-8 Land Rover, full time 4X4, gets almost 15 mpg, Did I mention the seller forgot to bring the removable stereo face plate, instead, I'm listening for the dreaded "death rattle" that will end my adventure all too soon, it never comes and I pull over for a short nap during a monster storm in Ohio, its 3:30am Thursday morning when I close my eyes. 4:45am I'm going 80 mph, the truck is smooth but I'm gettin passed by EVERYBODY on the road, kinda like every race this year. Chicago is ALWAYS in a state of road work, today is no different. By now I'm not freaked about the way this truck drives on the freeway, lets give it the stop and go, stop and go for an hour and a half, during a torrential downpour test. So far so good, There's a bridge up ahead that looks like a big "H", I did not eat anything but a tobasco flavored slim jim and a bag of dorito's, except the FOUR gallons of truck stop coffee, Iowa NEVER looks as good. Its 2:30pm Thursday, I looked in the mirror when I got home, big mistake...Stage 5, sleeeeeeeeeppppy time. Who wants a 1987 Jeep Grand Wagoneer, mechanically sound, but a few fixer upper things????

Where is this going?

Had a great time at the races this weekend. I knew the expert class would be tuff goin in but WOW! There are alot of fast people out there, like, ALL of them. I'm still not fighting to get in the woods first (or, is that in the WAY first) cause I don't want to slow anybody down, just running at a pace I can maintain and get an idea for racing in the future. For me, its always been about the people you meet anyway that makes Mountain biking a blast. Did what I could in the time trial, Hill climb, and the short track on saturday, had Taco's with the coolest of the fastest on saturday night, thanks for the grub kids!! Tried to recover enough for the XC race on Sunday. I felt pretty good, no wrecks, no damaged equipment, I just gotta speed it up a bit. The Mrs. had a good race as well although if I don't fix her pedal I'm gonna be HAMBURGER. And speaking of ground FLESH, I may be going out of town this week, I may not be going out of town this week, depends on OMAR! Dude, WTF is goin on??? I expect california casual but New Jersey?!? SHEESH! I let Mr. Chocolate out your HAMBURGER. I realize this is in code and I'll explain later, maybe... OOOoo, foreshadowing keeps the reader in suspense.

Famous WOODIES you may have seen!

The "wagon queen family truckster" is a bit more famous than I imagined. I've spotted them in various movies and commercials, including; Capital One spot-the "Raider" shoves a Christmas tree thru the back glass. The Dark Half-Steven King Book turned movie. Blade III- The new Vampire Killers ride. Bring it On- Cheerleaders dig wood! Kingdom of the Ants- Giant Ants take over the world! Law and Order SVU- Accused rapist drives one. Insomnia- Robin Williams is not funny in this movie! Next time your watching TV, see if you can "SPOT THE WOOD"

Sunday, a day of rest.

The plan: Meet Dominic at 8:00am for a 50+ mile training ride. Nothing too serious,just some miles in the legs. The plan comes apart: I'm LATE, its 8:10am, I see Dominic a 1/4 mile up the road already; NEW PLAN, see if I can catch him. After 15 miles averaging 24 mph, SOLO (nice east tailwind) The "Dominator" has increased the gap to about 1/2 mile and is ACCELERATING, I'm going 27 mph thru middletown past the ammo plant, STILL losing ground! Can't hold at 27 mph for much longer. When my heartrate monitor starts blinking,its cause my max. rate is above 190 BPM's, or I'm in cardiac arrest. My "base miles" ride has become a TT! Did I mention that I am in winter clothes? Cause its 52 degrees, but now I'm sweating like a horse! New Plan: Dominic heads thru Geode State Park, I take the "short cut" around Geode to the dam. Now I'm waiting for him and FREEZING, we head for Hwy 218, still have a nice tailwind and I have a wheel to follow now. We meet "Farmer Bob" at a gas station, he remarks "I hope you boys get wet, we need the rain" ,he gets his wish, its starting to sprinkle now. Dom hits the gas and while I'm coughing up blood he's checking cell phone messages. The sky opens up, 35 miles left after the turn around, riding into the now 12-15 mph headwind, driving the rain into our faces, along with the roost from the bikes, SOAKED! GASSED! FREEZING! I'm about to get dropped on the flats of hwy 34!, My CAT-EYE shorts out with all the water, we had been doing about 21 mph when it died, Heart rate has been between 181 to 192 for 1/2 hour now, its all I can do to hold Nick's wheel. Hardly a drop of rain in Burlington, I'm wearing 50 pounds of cold soggy clothing and I can't feel my feet. An EPIC road ride???? For me, YES!

Misc. "borrowed" pics: cyclingphotonews.com

Snakes vs. Product test

Since I'm about as near sighted as a person can get, every couple of years I gotta get my eyes checked and get my prescription updated. Thank God I haven't had to get bi-focals (yet) cause I don't need any reminders of my impending mortality, also, I think I'd rather have a vasectomy with a dull butter knife than have "Dr. Stygmatism" blast my eyeballs with laser beams, so glasses it is. I had to be careful when picking out new shades for riding cause "wrap around" frames and prescriptions DO NOT mix well as they tend to bend light and the trail becomes "warped" like a great acid trip. (guessing!) So I picked out these Rudy Project Kalyos frames that could handle an "insert" for my prescription, they are "OK" at best, the insert needed to bent into shape still, and peripheral vision is "untrustworthy", also the insert is so close to my eyes I get to rub my lashes on them. But they work and I can see well enough to navigate in the woods, although I'm going to get yellow lenses soon because the blue is WAY too dark in the trees. I found this out because the 3 foot long snake I found snoozing on the trail last night at Geode looked innocent enough, plus I always thought snakes are kinda cool, I just wanted to have a look at him and send him on his way. Living here for my whole life I've heard over and over again about rattlesnakes at Geode, BULLSHIT I'd say, I've been to 4 different deserts across the western states, the Rockies countless times and never seen ANY rattle snakes, always hoping to just SEE one, but no luck. So "Steve Irwin" style I picked him up and said " your alright Mate! Isn't he a BEAUTY", but He didn't want to play and was desperately trying to BITE yours truly. While I was putting him back on the ground he made a noise that sounded exactly like a Chris King hub coasting at 10 mph, Only then with my limited vision did I notice the neat pattern of diamonds, the triangular shaped head complete with sensing "pits" and the little button on the end of his tail. SHIT A RATTLER!!! I've been to Geode a thousand times and always heard about Timber Rattlers and never believed it, always looked for em, NEVER saw one, until then. About the time he decided to slither off Mrs. Brakeville was pulling up, and was NOT happy that I had given chase, He actuality stopped for a second, in between the front spokes on my wheel then took off. Did I mention that my new shades are too dark in the woods???

Fat Boy Flying

Weekend Update updated...

Forgot to mention a few things, first I hope everyone who hit the deck over the holiday has a speedy recovery. Nothing worse than having to sit out and be a spectator. Had to get our "kitten" declawed, I'm trying not to laugh too much as its just deserts for the little bugger for all the curtains climbed in my humble abode. Not to mention the fact that the kids named him "leatherface" first, changed it to "Eddy", and finally found out he's a she after all. Now I know why Tater says "Pete Basso is awesome"! Cause he was unfazed by the B.O.D. (that's bridge of DEATH) in Dehn's, took me a couple of times before I'd even attempt it. It was cool to show Pete and Landon our little slice of single track goodness. I'm a dope part two; I thought my rear derailer was acting up, cause every hill in Dehn's I got to hear and feel chain rippin nastiness, turns out the middle and big chain rings on my less than a year old XT crank are SHOT. DOH! Anyone notice that these are less than stellar rings??? That means chain, cassette, and new rings OUCH$$$ I'm glad I didn't buy the "old" new XTR stuff, Cause the NEW 07 stuff is coming out, kinda funny really that I still like the 2001 LX shifters on my bike, they ain't goin anywhere till something bad happens. I'm a funny Guy (not) part three; Mrs. Brakeville demanded that I remind the readers that while she was the first woman across the line in the QC Crit she was also the ONLY woman in that race (CAT 5). I left that nugget of info out for effect...:) I plan on racing CAT 4 at the "Hummer Hammer" this weekend, no more "open" stuff, then I can leave the Road Bike at home for awhile and "HIT THE DIRT" ...